Simply Frustrated

I was at a meeting last night, which I was told… “My goodness woman, you should be rolling in the dough.” when I explained exactly what it was that I do.

I honestly do 3 things. I’m pretty good at two of them, and more than adequate at the other. The adequate one is the one I’m working on the most right now. Its easy. The other two are “fun” projects.

It never fails though that when I tell people the 3 things that I do, they will tell me which one I should be concentrating on to make lots of money.

“You know #1 will make you tons of money.”

“Wow, I really could use someone who does #2, you could make a lot of money at that.”

“You do #3?? I have a bunch of friends who need you. Start your own business. You’ll make tons of money.”

It’s really annoying. Mostly since I’m not making any money (ok I’m making some money, but not enough to cover bills) on any of them right now. and that no one seems to agree on which one I should be doing.

Also annoying… I’m not meeting anyone my age when I go out. It might be some kind of mental problem of mine, or maybe the world just really wants me to date someone much much older or much much younger.

Actually the other day I was making fun of this guy who I ran into on OkStupid who keeps trying to connect me with guys I would have babysat in HS. This guy claimed to be 35, but looked and dressed in his pictures as if he was maybe 23. So I complained to Holi that he was lying about his age.

She replied, “Well now isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black?”

Which I got offended.. Cuz I don’t lie on dating sites. Period. Instead she explained,

“How many times do you bitch about guys writing you off because they think you’re too young for them?”

Holi is really a bitch sometimes. 🙂

I look young. It’s not a conscience effort. I don’t do botox or get face lifts. I honestly have never really worried about wrinkles. (knocking on wood as I type this) I just haven’t aged that much in the last 20 years. In HS, I looked early 20’s, and now I look roughly late 20’s maybe early 30’s. Absolutely no one ever thinks I’m 37, and often look at me like I’ve grown a third head when they do find out. (I also often get asked about my skin care regimen – Oh how do I stay so young?)

So anyway, back to the men I’m meeting. Pierce btw… 11 yrs younger than me. The rocker guy (I’ve not mentioned yet) 11 yrs younger than me. The annoyingly chipper but cute salesman type guy at the bar last night who locked me into an entire 45 minutes of conversation, is 11 yrs younger than me.

The other men I’m meeting are all much older. One I kinda have a crush on, is 49 and won’t give me the time of day because I’m too young (you should see the wrinkly women he does hit on). Others are 48-65. Some are attractive men and some just remind me of creepy old men.

What I really need to find is the German guy from my pool again. I’m a bad judge of age on sexy men with chests of steel, but I guarantee you he was at least my age or older. (Did I mention that I was walking by the pool to get to my car.. I see him through the break in the trees toweling off. He’s dark haired, chiseled, and wet. I can’t stop watching. He’s watching me. I look away finally, he keeps watching me. Then when I look back at him, he waves me over with a come here hand gesture then asks me to join him. If only I wasn’t on my way to a meeting. Damn it.)

Anyone know where to find the 30-40’s men? Or are they all dead?.. er married I mean.


Stop The Muffin-Top Bra


I don’t talk much about fashion though I have to say I definitely have some strong opinions on it. The other night I was watching late late night TV.. couldn’t sleep.. and came across a waste of time called “The Wendy Williams Show” which I watched mostly because I was doing other things and not caring a whole lot about what was on.

Then she started talking about fashion and had a fashion expert on the show. The fashion expert had some good tips, so I paid attention.

Then Wendy and a guest (not the fashionista) began to talk about bra selection. They both said that they thought (or used to think) that having that little bubble of breast hanging over the top of the bra was sexy. They both had been told by fashion experts to buy larger (better fitting) bras.

Dear Women of the World.. (men if you disagree please comment and tell me why)

Wearing your boobs out in public in a bra that is too small causing your boobs to bubble over the top or outside of the bra.. IS DISGUSTING!

Its not sexy. It makes you look like you’re fashion stupid or poor (can’t afford an appropriately sized bra) or just a trashy woman without any taste.

Please please please.. go into your nearest department store or lingerie shop with knowledgeable staff and get yourself measured for an appropriate size.

Unlike our shoes.. our boobs size can change at the drop of a hat. Weight gain. Weight loss. Even time of the month (hormonal) can cause size changes.. which in some women can be very significant. So you may need a couple choices of fits.

For most of us women, our boobs are one of our greatest selling features when dating. When we want to look good, a good bra can sometimes make or break an outfit. (Not to mention what a good bra can do for the .. umm.. gym. – As my childhood friend said about my sister as she ran to first base in softball “Holy Cow! She could knock herself out with those.”)

Honestly women.. I cannot stress this enough.. when it comes to fashion.. to looking good.. to making an impression.. a good fitting bra is essential.

A muffin-top bra is never acceptable. So stop it… stop it now!

The Hottest Guy Comes With Wheels

So the other night, I go to this networking meeting. Pierce was supposed to be there, but thats not entirely why I went. I do have my own life outside of the urge to stalk him.

Plus the fact that he didn’t reply to my DM the other day.. he’s a little bit in the doghouse. Honestly, I’d completely write him off if he wasn’t so damn attentive last I saw him… and well if he wasn’t so damn cute.

So anyway, I go. Pierce is not there. But I honestly only notice his abscense for about the first 5 minutes.

I enter and behind me in the entrance line is my old director and her beau. This is a networking thing for the geeky. I was a little shocked that she was there and that she’d heard about it. Weird.

Anyway, we get closer to the front of the line… there’s a couple in front of me.. when a loud voice from the table says “Hey Maruska! I got ya, just fill out a nametag.”

It’s my favorite hot happily-married man. So I grin at him.

“Whaaa? you know who I am?” I say jokingly while I fill out my nametag.

Well a few minutes later after checking out who all is there (aka not Pierce), my old director finds me.

“Hey, how’d you do that?”

I look at her like she’s grown a third eye as I try to jog my memory about what I might have just done.


“At the entrance, how’d you do that?” She’s looking at me as if I’m the social guru of the year.

“Oh, yeah.. I know him. No biggie. I actually know quite a few of the people here. I’m kinda geek.” I admit as I am uncomfortable with her whole “omg you’ve got the hookup” attitude… though I was a little flattered by it. She’s the Who’s Who of Independant Theatre in Austin, so it was kinda funny getting on her “respect” list for networking.

“Oh wow, I didn’t know. I just heard about these things.” She says while looking around.

I’m looking around too, but mostly for someone to motion to me and save me from what is bound to me more uncomfortable talking.

I mention to her that I need to go say “Hi” to a few people and wish her a fun evening. Then I fled.

Of course, Pierce was a no-show the entire event. But that didn’t mean I wasn’t flirting around.

Actually, I wasn’t so much flirting around as I was being flirted with. Made my head spin a little. See my little business venture is getting around I think.. or else it’s given me some kind of pheromones to attract men.

There was one gentleman I’ve met like once before. Maybe twice, but pretty sure just once. I honestly don’t know his name. He’s hot. He’s sweet. But not normally what I go for.. so not really on my radar.

But evidently I am on his. Within minutes of him seeing me, he came over and said hello. He then entrapped me into a conversation (it wasn’t torturous, pleasant really, but he obviously was not letting me just flit on by). When he was interupted by a friend of his, I turned away to see who else was interesting to talk to..

Thats when I met the hottest guy.

Seriously when I tell you this guy is hot.. I mean hot… but probably not in the way most of you are thinking.

He was well kept. Great hair. Very hot face. Hot upper body. Looked like a relaxed GQ kinda guy. But what made him hot was his communication skills. The guy could talk to you and make you feel like the only woman in the room. He also listened like every word you said was gold. Two sentences in and I already wanted to nasty things to him. Sizzling.

Weirder still.. he’s in a wheelchair. Something that normally I’d see, and check off my list of viable. But honestly, it wasn’t really noticable. In a crowd of 50 people all standing, where his face had to be butt-high at best, I didn’t really notice his chair. I simply saw a hot man. That’s how smoking hot this guy is.

There are things more important than superficiality.

By the way, I wasn’t the only girl swooning over this guy. He and I got interupted, and I left to find out if my other friends had shown up. Sure enough they had, so I did some chatting. In between conversations though, I’d go and see if hot guy was available for chatting.

He never was. Every time I went to see if he was free, he was fully surrounded by hot women. Seriously surrounded.

*le sigh*

I finished the evening having made a couple new friends, and with a few more hours of flirting under my belt.

… And with a little sadness that I didn’t get to spend more time with the hot man.

The Dream Genie Sucks

Sorry I’ve been AWOL lately. I’m still attempting to do this on my psychotic laptop, as well as start a business, do business plans, and the mirade of other crapola that goes along with it. I’m just hoping like hell that this venture takes off. Crossing fingers.. and maybe toes… if it does like it seems its going to.. I’ll be busy buying my dream computer. Right now weighting if that would be an investment or a luxury.

But back to men.. and dating… and me being a little crazy.

I’ve been having dreams lately. Those sexy dreams.. the ones where you start picturing them naked, and thinking of all the things you want to do with them. Yeah those dreams.

And.. Pierce has been making a regular appearance. Which means I do (damn it) like him… but it also is problematic.

See.. my body/brain knows I like him. There’s still that odd hope of “this might be something”.. which means until its really something, until I’ve actually seen him naked or until I’ve completely ruled him out as a possibility.. My mind refuses to actually undress him or imagine much of anything that isn’t readily seen… aka I’ve pictured his bare chest, because the last time I saw him his tshirt was so “fitted” that there was little left to the imagination.

So while my dreams start off sexy, and you know darn good and well that they’re headed to Nakedtown, they never actually make it there.

Last night, I had this fantastic dream (which I might write up later) setting Pierce and I up for a very hot romp.. and then when it came to the hot romp itself.. The dream would die, or start over at the begining.. it did end up going to a sex romp later, but it wasn’t with Pierce, just some nameless faceless guy. *sigh*

Even my dreams won’t give me satisfaction. This sucks.

Where Did I Put My Time Machine?

I really don’t think I fit in. I must have been born at the wrong time, or have some kind of brain tumor.

All the girls that I meet that are my age. Scare the crap out of me.

If I go about 5 yrs older, I seem to fare better.. but going about 7 yrs younger is about right.. or the closest I’ve seen.

The girls I meet that are my age are either married and pretty cool. Though their tastes in music, activities, and what they find attractive in men is often completely different from me.

The single gals my age that I’m meeting though.. are complete nightmares. Ok, one or two exceptions, but most of then scare the crap out of me.

I obviously missed the sex-attraction of the Bon Jovi and Guns-n-Roses craze. Tall skinny assed white boys with long scraggly hair is so much the opposite of anything I find attractive, yet most of the girls I’m meeting my age still find this look hot. (To me, Bon Jovi didn’t get hot until he cut his hair.. and then I reacted with “OMG he really is a man.”)

I suppose I should be happy that their tastes lie outside of my interest range, but it makes it hard to find things in common. As I’ve mentioned previously, I can’t do hair band music on a regular basis, nor can I do long periods of “classic 70’s rock”… both after a while (much shorter time span on the 70’s rock btw) make me wish I was on something to endure it. And since I don’t do drugs.. its not that fun.

But I keep trying. I keep thinking that there has to be at least one other woman my age who likes the stuff I like and isn’t way damn crazy.

This really shouldn’t be a shock to me. Since I grew up in a small town with anti-social parents, and went to a church regularly which no one in town went to… I was pretty isolated. Other than the close neighbors (one boy my age), every kid I knew or hung out with outside of school was about 4 years older than me or 4 years younger than me (my church had no one within 4 years of my age either direction). I never really did connect much with the kids in my class.

So maybe its just habit of always being thrown in with an older crowd or a much younger crowd? Maybe its just been too many years of being independent and doing my own thing?

I suppose while others were watching men grow their hair out and jamming to their hair band music.. I was watching Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers black and whites on PBS. Or specials with Sammy Davis Jr, Sinatra, and their like.

You put a well groomed, clean shaven, smart short cut haired man into a suit or tux, and you’ve caught my eye. If he can also dance like Astaire or Gene Kelly, I’m swooning. If he can also croon a good tune, I’m completely smitten and will stalk him for the rest of his life.

Which is probably why I have a pretty good crush on Matthew Morrison (Glee). (He’s probably gay though.. if he’s not, there’s probably a line acround the corner of women trying to catch him and I’m a little too lazy for that. I’ll see if I can’t find someone like him who is “undiscovered’ instead.)

Speaking of “Undiscovered”.. one of my favorite albums.. Undiscovered by James Morrison. Luv luv luv. (see… no ADD here at all!)

But back to the point.. Finding women my age who like this kind of music.. is hard. Sadly its just as difficult to find men my age that have similar tastes.. Or maybe its just my luck I’m not finding them?

Or I might just be a transplant from another era… lost in this time..

My Meeting With The Playas

The other night I went out with Evie and a friend of hers. In all honesty, I went for the possibility of meeting someone, yet with the full expectation of being completely bored out of my mind. A group of 3 girls almost always leaves one as the third wheel, and since Evie’s friend and her were childhood friends, I fully expected to be the third wheel.

But I needed to go out, and nothing else that night sounded even remotely entertaining.

We went to a play and then the after-party. It was a small production with a small audience. It was ok. Some of the actors, you could tell were naturally talented and the rest were really trying to be. It was at least entertaining.

Then about 20 minutes from the end, I see Evie’s ex? I guess thats who he is. I can’t remember if they’d had sex or exactly what… But I do know that she’s at least seen his penis, and helped him get off. They’re “friends” now, but with Evie that could be FwB or just platonic friends. Its really hard to say.

Evie can’t go a night without a guy. During the show, she’d texted him to meet her there. So when I saw him come in.. I knew what had happened and I rolled my eyes.

It doesn’t help that I just cannot stand the guy. I avoid him like he’s got cooties. He comes off as needy and desperate. And I’ve got the feeling that any woman will do for him as long as she’s mildly attractive (not hideous), and not illegal. (I guess I should be thankful he has some standards huh?)

Plus.. from Evie, I know WAY more that I ever wanted to about his sexual interests and erm.. proclivities. If I wasn’t interested by the fact that he looks like a doofus, or by the fact that he acts like he’s only out for getting laid and desperately at that, then his sexual preferences alone would have sealed the deal for me that I wasn’t going to touch him with a 10 foot pole.

After the show was over, and while we waited for the after-party to start, I found out that Trey had brought two friends with him.

Techincally he brought one friend, who brought his friend.. but thats just me nitpicking.

So we’re standing around, and these two guys join our group. I of course wonder who they are, and Evie introduces them.

I honestly don’t remember their names. So I’m gunna make up some names.

The first one was chatty, but from the moment he opened his mouth, my lady parts shuddered and recoiled. Jessie’s voice was a little .. umm.. too high and he talked with just a slight lisp. Had he not talked about screwing women, I would have sworn he was gay. He was around my height, but with delicate bone structure. His wrists were even dainty. The thought of him having sex with a woman quite frankly made me giggle… a lot.

He talked as if he was Mr. MacDaddy which wasn’t helping the situation any. Maybe he does get all the girls. Who knows.. I just find it immensely unbelievable. To be honest, I found the idea of him and Trey being secret lovers much much more believable.

The third guy, Bill, was shy and completely did not fit with the other two. He was new to town, so I excused his judgement in friends. He had long hair and was Native American. He actually was kind of sweet, but way too young. That didn’t keep him from attempting to hit on me though. So cute, in an adorable little boy way (I know.. just the way guys hope to be seen right?), but about an hour or so later he admitted his age and he was barely legal. WAY too young for me, and thus I was right in thinking of him as a little boy.

So none of them were at all.. in any way.. potential interests of mine. This actually made the night more fun, because they ALL thought that I’d be happy to have them.

Dear Men… I am not that desperate.. and will never be that desperate.. Sorry.

So the party got started, and people started going back inside. It was hot inside. Like sauna hot. I went in to be social for a bit, but found my way outside rather quickly. The last thing I needed was to be miserable on top of this potential boredom.

A few minutes later, one guy after the other came outside as well. Soon it was myself and the three guys.

We began to talk. Jessie kept giving the youngin’ Bill some MacDaddy advice, which I would then critique and tell him how to do it better. Then Jessie saw that as a sign to out do himself. It became this challenge to show me how much of a MacDaddy he was. I couldn’t have secretly laughed at him more. At one point he said:

“I shouldn’t tell you because you’ll hate me.”

To which I replied, “If I don’t hate you by now, I’m pretty sure there’s nothing you can come up with.”

He stammered and still pretended to be all gentlemanly in refusing to divulge his scoundrel secrets in my presence.

“Ok.. by hate you.. what did you mean by that?”

Jessie turned red, and so I continued…

“If you mean by hate you, that I would no longer want to have sex with you.. let me put your mind at ease.. that ship sailed within the first minutes of meeting you. So just say what you were going to say.”

He looked at me agast, and then did his best to recover. He tried to ask what it was that turned me off, but I simply brushed him off with a “Eh, you’re not my type.” (Rather than telling him that he reminded me of some gay friends from college.) He retorted with a “Oh well at least we’re on the same page.” which made me laugh.

Yes yes… I can be a bitch, but I honestly cared not at all what this guy or his friends thought of me.

So he continues about his rules for “dating” which were quite frankly steps to have a one night stand. He did pretty much every cliche’ without actually mentioning roofies, though he did mention that getting a girl completely plowed so she’d not remember how to get back to his place later. I know.. a charmer. I of course added rules for him, and instead told him that he should just go to her place. No one can say I’m not helpful. 🙂

If I’m not interested in dating you, and I’m pretty sure you’re harmless (or at least that even the smallest woman could kick your ass), I’m more than willing to share my knowledge to help you get laid.. by someone else. 🙂 Its just how I roll.

Bill however was really enjoying the conversation and cursing that he had no way to take notes. The poor guy. In reality all Bill would have to do to get laid is to hang out with these two morons he was with, then go appologize to the girls later and state that he was new to town. He was sweet, honest, and not bad looking.. and following the wake of the other two guys, he’d look like the catch of the day.

Trey however was not liking the conversation. He instead was trying desperately to convince me that his playboy past was over (like I really believed he had a playboy past), and he was now looking for a real relationship. He was not grasping the idea that I could have cared less about what he was looking for.. I was not interested.. yet he continually tried to impress me with his “seeking a relationship” self.

When we began to discuss ages.. Trey started it by saying he was 40 (he looks maybe 34) and how 30 was the new 20 for him. The others also stated their ages, and then came my turn, which I declined. They were 19, 31, and 40.. and I just let them believe whatever age they thought I was. Generally I’m assumed to be in my late 20’s or early 30’s, so I figure they thought I was.

Then Trey began commenting on the music that was wafting outside from the party.

“I used to skate to this back in ’78”

Which we all would tease him about making himself sound ancient. Heck I’m not much younger than him, and even I thought he sounded old the things he was saying.

It was one “I’m old” statement after anouther which kept me entertained by teasing him about how old he was making himself sound and “Thats the way to win the Ladies, man.” sarcasm. I honestly don’t think he understood just exactly how off-putting his “remember when” was, or would be to younger women.. when their parents would be the ones saying those “remember whens”.

We were outside talking for a couple hours before the other two girls came out, and we all parted ways.

All in all it was a good night.. Lots of fun (for me anyway.)

Covering Some Urban (Dating) Legends

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder… or as a tshirt I saw the other day “Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder”

Either way, beauty is subjective. So is attraction. So is everything else that comes along with dating.

Who is fat vs thin?

Who is smart vs stupid?

Who is funny?

Who knows how to party?

All of these are subjective, especially when it comes to dating.

Women want a nicely sculpted man.

If you ask nearly any woman, a man with chiseled features, an inshape body, 6 pack of abs… is pretty darn sexy.

However, if you look at the guys that women build relationships with.. most of those aren’t the guys that spend all their time at the gym.  Actually, some of them probably don’t even see a gym on their way to get beer.

Because as superficial as we women can be.. when it comes to picking a mate.. we’re more about the inside than we are about the outside.

That doesn’t mean that a well sculpted male body won’t turn our heads.. it just doesn’t activate our hearts.

Just as being funny doesn’t mean we’ll want to be around you more than once, or that you can programme our computer means we’ll want you to stick around. Even the life of the party has its flaws that will get us to boot you out.

If you can manage to have a well defined (not super human) body, and still be well-rounded, mentally stable, fun, intelligent, patient, and understanding.. You’ll be the catch of the day.  But in the real world, no one body type is going to catch every woman.

For each person there is a different criteria, and different priorities.  There are too many variables.

Women Want A Nice Guy

Uh.. define nice.  I tackled this a few months ago, as I don’t really believe in the “nice guy”.  Its honestly one of the things that guys describe themselves as and I tune out.  I’ve gotten much more hurt (or just found them to be insane) by a self-proclaimed “nice guy” than I have by anyone else.

Most guys who claim to be nice.. in essence are ball-less bastards who make dating more confusing, more deceptive, and less “stable” than their brazenly evil counterparts.

Women want a man who is nice to them. This means he doesn’t keep things from her. He doesn’t just let her run all over him. He is an entity of himself where she fits well with him. He is loyal, trusthworthy, honest, loving, and someone she can lean on… and honestly someone she can fight with without fear of bodily harm, and some hope of being heard.

Women Crave Stability

I’d say yes, yes, yes  we do.  However, we don’t like to be bored to death.  While dating the proverbial accountant with decent $$ sounds promising, and there is a time in every woman’s life where they consider snagging some boring rich bastard just for the security and stability..  There always comes a point where too much is enough.

We like waking up and knowing who is beside us. We like knowing that that person will choose to be with us day after day after day. We like having a life where we’re not constantly wondering what terror tomorrow will bring.

However, we also like to grow, learn, experience.  So we like trying new things, or going new places, or throwing caution to the wind now and then.  We like a little bit of a challenge to keep us moving forward.

But we also only really feel confident to throw caution to the wind once we have a minimal level of stability under us. For every person this is different.  Some people feel great throwing caution to the wind with just a little bit… others need much much more.

More to the story..

And with every bit of evidence of proving or disproving Urban Dating Legends.. theres also more things to consider that can change anyone from a “YES” to a “Oh God No”..

Unmarried vs Divorced (Past History)

Republican vs Democrat (Politics)

Kids vs No Kids (Thoughts on Children)

Parenting Styles (Methods of Raising Children)

Vegan vs Meat Eater (Food)

Animal Lovers vs I hate your pets (Pets)



Cultural Conflicts

The list goes on.  So even if you do everything RIGHT… that particular relationship can be all sorts of WRONG for you. They may just realize this first, and may make it look like.. an Urban Legend.. when in reality they just can’t handle watching you eat peas.

Sail Away With Me… Not

So I went and hung out with some friends last weekend. They were all gathering at a place I think of as my “Cheers”, despite that I don’t make it down there every day and don’t know most of the staff. I just feel homey when I’m there.

The Gingerman

I honestly really needed a “Gingerman” trip anyway. It’d been a while since I’d been there, and the need for beer was strong. If the Gingerman was closer to me, I might actually have a chance of becoming that alcoholic that I keep trying and failing to be. Though I even doubt that one as I’ve a fridge with cold beer and several bottles of hard liquor that I’m always forgetting to drink. I even have my favorite vodka (Armadale) sitting right beside my computer, and like eating.. I forget to drink it.

It’s actually pretty amazing that I remember to post blog posts or even manage to get through writing a blog post. Yes, my attention span is that f’d up. Ooooo pretty…

Oh yes.. back to the Gingerman..

I arrive. Late. As usual. But not so late to miss the entire party, just enough that I’m a drink or two behind everyone else. A true alcoholic would have arrived early to drink more.. damn it..

Anyway, my friends see me and act like I’m some sort of mirage. Have I mentioned that I’ve not seen most of them in months? It takes them a minute but..

I got flack.

“Where have you been? Don’t tell me you have friends other than us!” Don lectured me jokingly as he came over to give me a big hug.

He was then followed by a couple girls that I pretend to be friends with, but in reality barely know. They’re great girls and a lot of fun .. at least while at the bar.. but I just don’t see us clicking without a beer in hand and mutual male friends to distract us. Let alone a girls-night. Call me paranoid, but I honestly think if we went to a bar just us girls to hang out.. I’d have blade marks all over my back.

But I made nice, and acted all happy to see them. It was good to see familiar faces and have people that were interested in me.. so it wasn’t an entire act I guess. They wanted to catch up on everything I’ve been doing lately… which honestly is nothing of any interest anyone.

Would you like to know about my experiment with maple syrup vs brown sugar syrup on pancakes?  Or maybe all the interesting job offers I’m getting for things that either will put me in jail or make me homicidal so I end up in jail?

So I answered their questions to the best of ability, and they drifted off to other people.

Don however stuck around. He wanted more details and wasn’t going to give up until I told him everything.  So I did. About me being sick and not wanting to socialize, about the job hunt which is going miserably, and about anything else that came to mind.

Then I saw Karl. Karl is an older gentleman. He’s normally quiet, polite, somewhat shy, a little aloof but social, and always in the best manners (reserved).  So what happened made my head spin a little.

I see Karl talking to a very hot man whom I’ve never seen before. I catch Karl out of the corner of my eye pointing in my direction and commenting to the guy next to him.

“I saw that!” I exclaim to Karl pretending to be offended/suspicious, then turn to his friend. “What is he selling you on now? Don’t trust a word of it!” I say as I smile widely.

Karl completely denies pointing as a child does who got caught eating chocolate and denies it with chocolate all over his face.

I then start to walk away to say hi to a few other people, when Karl grabs my arm.

“You can’t leave.”


“You can’t leave. You have to stay here.”

This is unlike Karl. Most times Karl just lets me flitter wherever I want. Never has he ever tried to entangle me in a conversation.

So I figured he had something to say to me.

Nope. He just wanted me to stand there next to him as he talked with the hot guy.

I of course had other plans. The guy was hot and all, but a little shorter than I like, and I’m not really that into dating right now.  So I wanted to say hi to my friends before they left.

I started to leave again..

And again Karl stopped me. It was then I realized that Karl was drunk. I’d never seen Karl drunk.. but he was.  And it was funny.

He was joking with me.. in annoying ways.. that make me laugh. His antics were also making the hot guy laugh.. though he was in fairness laughing at me and my inability to get away politely.

Finally Karl let me escape, and I went to say Hi to more of my friends.  I also learned that I do not post on Facebook very much, and that people would have been concerned that I’d died had I completely stopped posting on Facebook. Evidently, my weekly posts on Facebook have saved me from being the subject of a 911 call.

Obviously, I need to go out more often.

So I go get more beer and flirt with Mr Hot Bartender (seriously wanna try that on for size).

It was hot outside, cool inside, and everyone was standing in the middle between the outside and inside which was part hot, and part lukewarm. I’d already said my hellos, and tired of being hot, I sat myself and my cold beer down on a couch nearby where there was no one sitting.

Ah.. peace, quiet, cool drink and air conditioning…

Then the hot guy came to sit across from me to talk.

It was idle chitchat to start. How long have I know these friends.. how often do we all hang out.. etc and so on.

Then he started to tell me about himself.  About his condo downtown, and his other house in Boston.

Is it just me, or? … when a guy says that he has two residences and claims to be single… does anyone else just tune out?

It seems to be a theme with me lately. Meeting men who obviously want me to think or know they have money.

For me, all I need to know is that you’re financially stable. If you’re trying to tell me you’ve make $300k a year, you’ve obviously misjudged my priorities.  However if you’ve got big bucks, and I know it without you telling me, you’re generous without flaunting it.. I might start stalking you. Its all about the character baby.

He was a nice guy, and despite his double houses .. I might have given him a chance.. but he also really really likes boating and sailing.

Me + Water (with fish in it) is a non-starter. Not going to happen. Unless your boat is the size of a small island, don’t be trying to picture us “sailing away” any day soon.

Then people saw us sitting down and talking. Don, in his own flirting enthusiastic way, plopped down next to me in a way that can only be described accurately as an ex-boyfriend move.. and the hot guy’s eyes reacted as if “Oh you have a boyfriend”… which made me laugh. Had I not already ruled Hot guy out as a potential date, I might have been a little upset with Don.  As it was I joked around with Don, and introduced him to the hot guy.  Then one by one everyone joined the couches and conversations.

Hot guy stayed and talked with everyone for awhile. Don then ran off to another side of the bar.  Then Hot guy saw Don flirting outrageously with one of our mutual friends, and he commented.  I replied thats just Don he’s kinda the group flirt or party person.  His eyes then changed in understanding again, realizing that Don and I weren’t dating. (Silly men)

Hot guy shortly after got up for another beer. Never to be seen again.

Oh well.

5 Manly-Man Things I Love

I really liked @singlegirlie’s post about “5 Un-Manly Things I Love In A Man” despite that I don’t share most of those myself. So I thought, “Hey, I should do a post like that with ones that I like!”

Then I thought about it, and I honestly can’t think of any girlie things that I like in a man. Well except the whole body builder look thing that she explains on her blog.  Fit – good, Athletic – good, Overweight – good, Skinny – good… but the body builder (unhuman) kind of built look, hell no… though I will choose a body builder over the extremely obese guys.

I like some metro sexual stuff, but I wouldn’t really call most of it un-manly. I just like ’em to look nice.

So I decided to list the 5 manly man things that I LOVE in a man, not necessarily in any particular order…

1. Steak: He not only knows how to order a good steak, but knows how to eat one. (He shouldn’t hate vegetables though, just know his meat.)

2. Hair: He can grow it. Facial, chest.. There is absolutely no mistaking him for anything but a man. (Not really into thick carpet looks though, but a good amount of hair is definitely sexy.)

3. Chivalry: He offers to carry things for me whether I need him to or not. He opens doors for me. He walks me to my car and/or to my door to make sure I’m safe.

4. Tool Belt: He can fix things. Leaky sinks, changing the oil on my car, or even just fixing the bug in my computer.. He knows how to use his hands…

5. Cajones – I hope thats how it’s spelled.. but that manly man attitude. He can be calm and zen and peaceloving (no one wants an angry ass) but I really love a guy who when push comes to shove.. can firmly hold his ground.. all the more attractive if he’s peaceful and fun loving 99% of the time.. unless you cross him. Whiny men who are too emotional kinda make my skin crawl.

Not Your BootyCall

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m a mental case, saying I want one thing and in reality wanting something else… or if the standards I have for what I want are just wrong or unreasonable. Or?

Hock texted me at 3am.  I knew he’d been out all night drinking and having fun because we follow each other on Twitter and thus I see his Foursquare posts. That he was out all night, I didn’t care really and it mattered not. It was merely just twitterfeed.

But am I out of my mind to be “offended” or otherwise upset for him texting me at 3am wondering what I’m doing so he can ask me to get together to screw around?

I am highly sensitive to feeling like someone’s last choice or “well if there’s nothing else, she’ll do”.. and I do not bear it well. Which is exactly how I perceive a 3 am bootycall text.

At first, I thought he was drunk and was merely going to tell him to go get some sleep. If he was drunk, I could forgive it or at least give him some leeway. But he assured me he was sober and driving home past my place.

Trying to get a booty call from me at 3am.. Never going to happen.

I told him I wasn’t the “booty call kind of girl”.

He apologized. We texted a bit more, but now I’m even more not sure if I should go to that party he invited me to..

Do I go and make nice and be “friends” and forgive him?  Or do I stay home, and let things fade completely?

I was up most of the night (insomnia not related to this) and pondered this because well it really upset me. I really didn’t expect him to think that that kind of behavior was acceptable. The more I thought about it the more upset and pissed off I got.

No one calls or texts someone they barely know at 3 am for any reason other than a major emergency and they can’t get a hold of anyone else.

Had we had a long history of bootycall behavior in which him calling me last minute for sex was known to be ok, I could have bore it better. But we don’t. We actually never discussed bootycalls at all, and were only together once. Not wanting a serious relationship does not indicate that courtesy and respect goes out the window, or at least it shouldn’t.

Had he called me or texted me earlier in the evening and set up a “sex date”, I’d have been more willing to say yes or at least considered it without being this offended/upset. But, no no, he texts me as he’s driving home at 3 am hoping that I’m awake and horny.

Right or wrong, his actions indicate to me that he doesn’t really respect me as a person and I feel cheap.

As angry at him that I am, I’m equally angry with myself..  justly or unjustly I blame myself.

It’s little events like this that make me never want to open my legs again.

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